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Prometheus – A stoner movie extraordinaire

Prometheus – A stoner movie extraordinaire

I prove that Ridley Scott’s Prometheus is truely a stoner comedy

Prometheus Blu-ray coverA few days ago I watched Ridely Scott’s Prometheus. It was advertised as a science fiction movie. Yet while I was watching it I felt slightly betrayed. There was the strange feeling that something was off. I guess many reviewers, reviewers and reviewers felt it subconsciously, too. Well, I neither hate Prometheus nor do I consider it a masterpiece. It is an atmospheric movie with some great acting and special effcts. But deeply flawed when it comes to characterisation and storytelling. Some of my friends tried to convince me otherwise and said “Seppl, you just did not understand the story!” And guess what? They were right! I spend hours pondering about the plot of Prometheus. Then I finally got it! And all with the help of one great super sleuth who can be quoted:

“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
- Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle really, but gosh!)

Many wonder: Why do the protagonists in Prometheus behave so crazy? Come on, they work for a multi billion dollar corporation! They all seem to have fancy scientific degress. Someone obviously deemed them to travel through space! They boldly go where no man has gone before. Yet they think it is a good idea to:

1. Take off your helmet on a dark, foreign planet without scanning for viruses or other dangers. Just that there is a suitable atmosphere does not mean it might be contaminated!

2. Attract an alien that looks absolutely horrifying as if it was a cute little kitty. This was probably one of the most ridiculous scenes I have ever seen in any movie.

3. Revive an alien that clearly wants to destory Earth. Their reason? Can´t hurt to ask why the aliens wanna blow earth into the next millenia, huh?

4. This one is a SPOILER:

Nonesense ending
The ending was complete craziness! Yeah, an engineer wrecked the whole crew of the expedition. He tried to kill Dr. Shaw afterwards and she could hardly stop him. What is the obvious reaction? Go to the home planet of the engineers to ask why! Ha, ha. I will remember that! That is the same as if a gang would kill my friends and beat me up so I barely survice. Logical next step: Go to their clubhouse and politely ask why they did it.

Yet the behaviour of the scientists seems erratic only when you don´t look behind the curtain! Prometheus obviously is not a science fiction movie! No, it is a stoner movie extraordinaire. Here is my explanation: The real crew of the Prometheus is still on earth. They were silently replaced by stoners who always wanted to to go space. Those dudes and gals now command the starship and are still on LSD or something. That is why they behave in unbelievable ways. It all makes sense! THAT is why the scientist thinks that cobra alien is so cute he tries to lure it towards him. And this really explains why all scientists behave like they have bought their degrees from Jabba the Hutt.

Stoners in space, huh? Makes sense to me! Think about it! Only then will you discover the true story of Prometheus. This is the story Ridley Scott wanted to tell.

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